The Field Where I Died

When I started writing the posts for my favorite funny episodes of TV shows (The Work Outing, Are We Not Men?), I knew that what I wanted to do for the serious ones. Each one was getting its own post (The Girl in the Fireplace, The Inner Light), and I knew which one would be last. If you have paid attention, I have been dropping hints leading up to the finale.

This one episode just hits me from so many directions. The Civil War. Reincarnation. Past lives. Soul-mates. How people are always connected through life and death and rebirth. Migrating souls.

My personal beliefs in many of these things might not be justified, and even if not true, I recognize them as being beautiful ideas. And in a cold, cruel, sometimes heartless world, we always need beautiful ideas.

Also, I do not think I given this episode the write up it deserves. I have written and re-written this several times, but I still do not feel I have conveyed the emotions and feelings it evokes from me.

The X Files/The Field Where I Died

Opening scene is Mulder standing in a field, while Robert Browning's Paracelsus is recited. He is looking at two Civil War era photographs of a soldier and a woman...

When authorities receive a telephone tip from someone named Sidney, the FBI and ATF stage a raid at Temple of the Seven Stars, a religious cult in Tennessee, which Sidney claims is abusing children and has a cache of illegal firearms. When they arrive they find no sign of the cult leader Vernon Ephesian, and believe he was tipped off that they would arrive. Agent Fox Mulder experiences deja vu and proceeds out of the temple to a neighboring field, followed by his partner Dana Scully. Mulder leads her to a trapdoor in the field and opens it, finding Ephesian inside with his six wives, who are all about to drink a red liquid. Mulder prevents them from drinking the liquid and handcuffs Ephesian, but he feels a strange connection to one of the women, Melissa Riedal-Ephesian, as if he has seen her before.

Assistant director Walter Skinner warns the FBI that Ephesian and his wives will be released in a day unless they can find hard evidence of the weapons or Sidney. Mulder and Scully question Ephesian, and he states that there was no member of the temple named Sidney. 

They then interview Melissa, who suddenly begins to talk like Sidney and states that the President of the United States is Harry Truman. Scully believes she is exhibiting multiple personality disorder, but Mulder thinks she is recalling a past life. Mulder and Scully take her back to the temple, where she takes on the personality of a Civil War woman, who says that the weapons were hidden in a secret bunker in a field. And then she reveals how she and Mulder "know" each other.

MELISSA: The weapons were placed in the bunker which they had built the night before. The federals would arrive in the morning, just before the sun. Realizing the government's might and number, most believed they, indeed, would never again see the light of day... just as they had watched their brothers die days before on Missionary Ridge.

We had received word of General Cleburn's retreat from the Union army. As a nurse, I had been ordered from Hamilton County to meet the troops, but... in actuality, I was searching for him, knowing that he would attempt to remain in Tennessee rather than retreat to Dalton.

I found him here amongst the others who had been lost as General Thomas pushed through the Confederate line. The federal troops would appear from that direction. Rather than retreat any further, they fought them... hiding us in the bunker. Inside, I could smell the smoke, hear their rifles... feel their bodies as they dropped onto the ground above. Every last one.

Twenty-sixth of November. 1863. I was here.

(Mulder looks up at her. Their eyes meet.)

As were you. This is the field where I watched you die.

Mulder takes Melissa to regression hypnosis for her to recount her past lives. She implies that she and Mulder have met over their past lives, only in passing. To confirm her events, Mulder has himself hypnotized. He recalls several past lives. Melissa is always included in them. Surprisingly, so is Scully. The idea that we always meet and re-meet the important people in our lives over and over again is just wonderful to me. The special people are always tied to us through bonds of love, through space and time, life and death, and birth and rebirth.

MELISSA: Oh... oh... Your eyes may have changed shade, but it cannot color the soul behind them. We have come together in this life, this time. Only to meet in passing. It is so heartbreaking to wait. I miss you.

(Mulder is now in the chair, his hand also raised in the same way, his eyes closed.)

THERAPIST: I want you to go into your past, beyond your life as Fox Mulder. What do you see?

MULDER: Ghetto streets... shattered glass... bodies of the dead... I'm a woman... a Jewish woman... Poland. My son is with me. He is Samantha.

THERAPIST: Samantha? I thought Samantha was your sister.

MULDER: In this life, she is my son. I see my father. He's dead in the street. He is Scully...

But now... he's gone on now... waiting for us. The souls... come back together... different... but always together... again and again... to learn. I can't go to my father. Gestapo is standing next to him. An officer... he's Cancer Man... evil returns as evil...

But love... love... souls mate eternal... my... husband... is taken away from me. To the camps. He is Melissa. We're always taken away.

I'm rising... I'm rising now... I'm rising now... high above... my body. Above the field. My face is bloody. Near the bunker... the federals are gone... my sergeant is also dead. He is Scully.

Sarah holds me. She is sad. She is Melissa. She lives... near... the battle... Hamilton County... her name is Kavanaugh. Sarah Kavanaugh...

And my name... is Sullivan Biddle.

She doesn't know... she doesn't know... that, that I'm waiting for her... that we will live again. We will live again.

Scully finds pictures of Sullivan Biddle and Sarah Kavanaugh in the county's hall of records. They strike a  strong resemblance to Mulder and Melissa. (Sullivan Biddle and Sarah Kavanaugh are based on real Civil War people. Soldier Sullivan Ballou sent a beautiful letter to his wife Sarah one week before he died at the First Battle of Bull Run in July, 1861).

The FBI plans to make another search of the compound. Ephesian, realizing that he will not survive another siege, passes out poison to the cult members and all but he and Melissa die, Melissa having faked drinking it. As Mulder rushes into the temple, Ephesian forces Melissa to drink the poison, and when Mulder arrives he finds both of them dead. Mulder caresses Melissa, looking out into the field. He was so close, but he missed her again.

I wanted so bad for them to be together in this life, not having to wait for another chance in another life. It is disheartening to think that you can be so close to finding someone just to have them slip away.