Friday and the Random 10 (R2-D2 and C-3PO Edition)

Finally a day off where I can take my time and do this thing right. I am sorry last week was such a rush job, but you know how that goes with the holidays and all. The occupancy of Exile Island has changed though: RW is a free man (for now) and had his place taken by another piano man. Interesting...

Monthly Review (August 2013)

I thought I would give everyone a run down of the 10 most popular posts from this past month (in case you are new to my blog, or just plain missed a post).

More Favorite Funny Episodes of TV Shows

I have a few more episodes that didn't make the first post, including what may be the funniest episode of any show at any time...yeah, big build up there. But first, I'll start off with:

Friends/The One with the Prom Video

This episode is epic mainly for two things:

It's the first time we ever see fat Monica

Joey: Some girl ate Monica!

Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds

Chandler: Ah, so how many cameras are actually on you?

80's afro/mustache Ross trying to be cool

Joey: Looking good Mr. Kotter...

The IT Crowd/Are We Not Men?

Once again, if you have not familiarized yourself with this show, do it ASAP. The plot of this episode is that Roy and Moss use a website to learn football lingo so they can hang out with other guys and prove they are "proper men". This leads to many "fish out of water" moments for the two computer geeks. They meet a group of guys in a bar and end up playing poker and drinking with them all night. They both end up at a soccer match with them the next day. Moss's comments during the whole thing are just pure gold:

The next day, one of the guys calls and asks if Roy can do them a favor by doing some driving. Roy has unwittingly become the get away driver for a robbery. More gold.

Moss shows up at the hideout and they escape while an argument breaks out. As the cops close in, they avoid capture by some quick thinking by Moss. Platinum.

Epic Lines:

Roy: Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Moss: I wanna go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird's all I got. That and my sweet style.

WKRP in Cincinnati/Turkeys Away!

This one I was reminded about by a friend (thanks, Scott). I was thinking of mostly recent sitcoms, so this older one escaped my thoughts. Most of my younger friends have probably never heard of this show, but this one episode is legen - wait for it - dary!

WKRP in Cincinnati was a show in the late 70's/early 80's about a messed up radio station, with a lot of fantastic characters. The premise of the show is that a new director comes in to "fix" the station, leaving the bumbling manager, Mr. Carlson, feeling unneeded and out of the loop. Carlson, then decides to do a secret Thanksgiving Day promotion and won't tell anyone the details. All he needs is a helicopter and 20 live turkeys. What happens next is comedy history.

The lines:

Les Nessman's entire on air report: What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The 'copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It's a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air... There's a third... No parachutes yet... Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are but... Oh my God! They're turkeys! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Folks, I don't know how much longer... The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd...

Dr. Johnny Fever: Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.

[Les walks in, looking dazed]
Venus Flytrap: Les! Are you okay?
Les Nessman: I don't know. A man and his two children tried to kill me. After the turkeys hit the pavement, the crowd kind of scattered but, some of them tried to attack me! I had to jam myself into a phone booth! Then Mr. Carlson had the helicopter land in the middle of the parking lot. I guess he thought he could save the day by turning the rest of the turkeys loose. It gets pretty strange after that.
Venus Flytrap: [to Andy] How is it strange?
Andy Travis: Yeah, right. Les, c'mon now, tell us the rest.
Les Nessman: [freaked out] I really don't know how to describe it. It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack! It was almost as if they were... organized!

And the immortal line:

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

My Favorite Episodes of TV Shows (The Funny Ones)

I have noticed that my all time favorite episodes of TV shows basically fall into two categories: hilariously funny or bittersweet/emotional. This post just covers the ones that crack me up. I will write a follow up post for the more serious episodes later. Also, this is just a partial list that I'm sure will be added to over time.

Friends/The One with the Holiday Armadillo

I can't explain how much this episode brings me to tears from laughing so hard. The main gist is that Ross wants to teach his son about Hanukkah, but is too late to rent a Santa costume. He ends up taking whatever costume is left and turns it into the "Holiday Armadillo", Santa's part Jewish helper. Once Chandler and Joey show up in costumes (Santa and Superman respectively) to help out, it just gets insane. Watch:

Lines that make me lose it:

Chandler: What are you doing here...weird...turtle...man?

Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.

The IT Crowd/The Work Outing

If you haven't watched any of this British show, do it immediately! It's about two nerds (Moss and Roy) in an IT department. They get a new department head (Jen) who they discover knows nothing about computers. Since she is a "people person", she decides to become their "relationship manager" instead because the guys are so socially awkward.

This episode is about Jen being invited to the theater by a guy both Moss and Roy think is gay. The boys invite themselves to the musical, which turns Jen's possible "date" to a "work outing". When they get to the theater, this is what they discover they're about to watch:

Roy: It's a gay musical called Gay. Thats quite gay. Gay musical...Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever made.

There is just so much here. At the intermission, Roy refuses to go back in for the second half. The guys then go to the bathroom but don't actually do anything because they have a "toilet guy" that just stares at them and makes them uncomfortable. Roy chooses to use a toilet for the disabled and instead of pulling the cord to flush, he pulls the "emergency" cord. Now he has to pretend being disabled for the rest of the episode and that someone stole his wheelchair. Moss uses a staff toilet and is caught, but plays it off like he works there so they put him to work at the bar. It all comes to a head when Jen encounters them both at the after party:

Best lines:

Jen Barber: A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homo-eroticism.

Moss: Oh no! It's set in the 80's!

Roy: Graphic homo-eroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out?

Jen: You're not comfortable with your sexuality?

Roy: Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality.

Big Bang Theory/The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Can you believe this is a show I didn't even start watching until last year? There are many great episodes, but this one just sticks out. There are two story lines going on in the episode: 1) Leonard, Raj and Howard are camping out for a meteor shower when they get hold of some "special" cookies. Here is an edit of all those scenes:

And 2) Penny falls in the shower and needs Sheldon's help. First she needs him to help dress her:

And then he drives her to and from the hospital. I love the ending where she compares him to Wall-E and makes him sing.

Oh those lines!

Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'

Penny: You know people think you are this weird robot man who's so annoying all the time and you totally are. But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. You're so full of love and you can save a plant and get fat people out of their floaty chairs.

Penny: You gotta help me get my arm into my sleeve.
Sheldon: (Eyes closed) Okay!
Penny: Is that my arm?
Sheldon: It doesn't feel like an arm.
Penny: Then maybe you should let it go.

Sheldon: We have to fill these out. "Describe illness or injury."
Penny: I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon: All right. And how did the accident occur?
Penny: You already know that.
Sheldon: Cause of accident: Lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Kidney disease?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Migraines?
Penny: Getting one.
Sheldon: Are you currently pregnant?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Are you sure? You look a bit puffy.
Penny: Change migraine to "yes."
Sheldon: When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: [in a disgusted tone] Oh, next question.
Sheldon: I'll put "in progress." Okay, turning to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioral diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety etc.
Penny: Oh my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?
Sheldon: Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.
Penny: Ass!
Sheldon: Possible Tourette's. All right, "moles, lesions, or other skin conditions." Soup tattoo on right buttock.

Testimonials!

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Weekend Update

Audio/Video/Telly

The IT Crowd - Funniest British show I have ever seen. Started re-watching all of them just for the material.

The Walking Dead - Just plain pissed at the latest episode. Nothing happened. Again. Waste of time.

Doctor Who - Easter is coming. Run you clever boy...

How I Met Your Mother - I wish I could buy Barney's apartment!

Community - I'm all caught up on seasons 1-3 now. Things make sense. I wanna be in the class The History of Ice Cream though. And join the Delta Cubes fraternity. Get your damn hand off my Let's potato chips!

New Girl - If a jellyfish ever stings me on my face, I will never ask anyone to pee on me. Jess and Nick are so gonna do it, if they don't beat each other senseless first. Always buy quick hardening calk. You don't want to have to wait forever for that calk to harden.

Movies - So I watched the remake of Red Dawn. My first thought was "Wow we're gonna win. We have Thor!" Then I saw the fat kid from Drake and Josh (Drake? Josh? Bueller???) and lost all confidence. The movie was good but ruined by the previously named fat kid who kept pining after his girlfriend (who was so out of his league). Kudos for having C Thomas Howell as a Marine, but the original was so much better. Instead of the Russians, it was the North Koreans this time. This is why I'm against gun control! They said in the movie that it was free from Alabama on upwards. That's because we had more guns than those sneaky bastards. I also watched The First Time which was a cute teen young love movie (don't judge me) and Bridesmaids because I had a friend who hadn't seen it yet. Still funny the second time around. Also you can check my review of Doomsday here.

Music - One day I was walking around and I started singing "We are all part of the rhythm nation" and I'm like whut? So I downloaded some Janet. Yeah. Added some Cyndi Lauper too.

Sports

Braves - They have an 18-12 record in spring training with opening day in a week. Looks like Teheran has nailed down the 5th starters spot. Still waiting to see if Gattis makes the team.

Bama basketball - So in the first round of the NIT (where Bama got a #1 seed) they beat Northeastern  62-43. Then they topped Stanford in the second round 66-54. They will host Maryland in the third round on Tuesday. Roll Tide!

P.S. And do not forget to recommend this blog continues.

Things I Must Work into a Conversation at Some Point

I'm sure this list will continually grow.

• Vagenious
• I don't have sperm, I have tadpoles...of the gods
• I am not just a vehicle you can ride to pleasure town.
• You can eat salad in my backseat anytime.
• Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.
• I am all that is man!
• Love is not admissible as evidence.
• I know that the place looks like a bit of a mess but its actually a very delicate ecosystem. Everything is connected. It's like the rainforest. You change one thing... even the tiniest bit, and the whole rainforest dies.
• I don't dance. I'm from that town in Footloose.
• That's a lot of nuts!
• I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I just don't want to be slapped in the face with theirs.
• Sometimes I touch the frayed part of the extension cord just to feel something.
• And with that statement, he never had sex again...

*Updates*

• I know this isn't going to end well, but the whole middle part is going to be awesome!
• I am a state licensed orgasmologist.
• Always buy quick hardening calk. You don't want to have to wait forever for that calk to harden.
• The magic is in the hole.
• Space is invisible mind dust and the stars are their wishes.

*More Updates*

• When the package is this pretty, no one cares about what's inside.
• Oh my God quick pullover. That pinata is shaped liked a monkey.

P.S. And do not forget to recommend this blog continues.