Momento Mori

For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat

The seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning

The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal

Threatening clarity in the presence of a truth

Entertained not in youth,

But only in its passage.

I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me

Knowing that you will read them and share my burden

As I have come to trust no other

That you should know my heart,

Look into it finding there the memory and experience that belong to you,

That are you

Is a comfort to me now

As I feel the tethers loose

And the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey

That began not so long ago

And which began again with a faith shaken

And strengthened by your convictions

If not for which I might never have been so strong now

As I cross to face you and look at you incomplete

Hoping that you will forgive me

For not making the rest of the journey with you.