Recurring Nightmares

Welcome to a new segment called Recurring Nightmares* that deals with those moments in life that drive us crazy. You have them. I have them too. But when it happens to me, things just seem to get inexplicably absurd. Case in point, ATM's.

Now I know most of us have gotten behind someone at an ATM and they have taken WAY too long to get money out. In my head I am screaming "don't you know how these things work!?!" or "haven't you used an ATM before?!?" Oh Jesus, please don't start digging in your purse looking for your PIN... You know what? You are pressing way too many buttons. YOU CAN'T GET A HOME IMPROVEMENT LOAN THROUGH AN ATM!!!!!

When it's my turn, usually a line has formed behind me. I'm like card-PIN-button-money-receipt-BYE. I walk away with my arms flailing about and say "and THAT'S how its done people!"

So one night after closing a certain establishment full of characters and princesses, I realized one of my kids needed money for something at school the next day. No prob. A quick swing by the bank on the way home will take care of that. So I finally get to the bank and there's already a beat up old brown car at the drive through ATM. At this point I should add that its 2 freaking A.M in the morning...

I sit and I wait. Finally a hand comes out with a card and inserts it. They press an absurd amount of buttons, take their money finally and just sit there. Then the hand comes out again with what I assume is a second card. After pushing 237 buttons for a four number PIN, they finally get more money out. And just sit there. You can guess what happens next. Yep, a THIRD card comes out the window and in the slot.

Now at this point I'm wondering if I'm witnessing some credit card scams going on. Or maybe it's money laundering. Or maybe it's drug money. Or gang activity. OMG it's the mafia!

Right before I start to really panic, the car finally drives away. I pull up, but now I'm scared. I look around but all seems nice and quiet as it should be. Too quiet. Yeah I never saw where that car went so "F" this. I then proceeded to drive a slow circle back around the bank, looking for ambush spots. Didn't see anything suspicious (other than me at this point), so I pulled back in, quickly got my money and high tailed it out of there. You know, in case I was being followed.

The following morning I threw a $20 bill at my daughter yelling "here, you better not buy anything stupid at the book fair!" She was slightly bewildered...

*Also known as shit that only happens to me

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