Ten Bad Thoughts During a Baptism

Yes, I know I'm going to Hell for this, but I'm not 100% to blame. This started out as a funny conversation between me and "she who will not be named" and evolved into this. Sorry.

1) Jesus Christ this water is cold!
2) I forgot to wear a bra under my white t-shirt
3) I hope he dunks me real good because I forgot to shower today
4) Wasn't this outlawed at Guantanamo Bay?
5) I'm Aquaman!
6) When Moses was baptized did he split the water and bump his head on the bottom?
7) Can someone do a synchronized Baptism with me to the music of Indiana Jones?
8) This isn't the Jacuzzi!
9) I think I saw Captain Jack Sparrow down there!
10) Oh no, shrinkage!

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